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My Extravagant, Atrocious Thoughts

by Timi Tamminen

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1.
On My Extravagant, Atrocious Thoughts 00:38
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2.
Either 03:15
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My life's kinda nice Full of parties, women and drugs *Pff*, just kidding, I haven't seen anyone in a while No, no, no, no Jailed myself in this house to write, now I want out This place is bringing me down Shout out to all of my friends in my skull Perfectionism, paranoia, anger, self-doubt and pride Nice to see the whole gang's made it back around, yeah Either want all the attention or want to stay masked Either put myself first or put myself last I'm a contradiction, a genius and a hack I'm meek, I'm brash, I'm megalomaniac, all that Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm meek, I'm brash, I'm megalomaniac, all that Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm meek, I'm brash, I'm megalomaniac, all that Yeah, yeah Okay, I dedicate the second verse to my own crazy self because I can Woo I've got nothing left to lose, I'd rather put my secrets out You might think I'm crazy, I think I'm just free and loud Sí, I want the royalties and fame, I can't lie I'm just being honest, most would act like they don't mind I might be cocky but at least I'm the one with a spine What you see is what you get, I never fake a smile I'm vain, I'm crazy, I'm proud Yeah, I talk to the walls and like making weird sounds Yeah, I want the world and yeah, I'm a kinky freaky ass guy Yeah, sometimes I feel like a clown But no one can turn me around I'm one in a trillion Turned my trauma into a talent Who's laughing now?
3.
Cyclone Soul 02:45
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Well, well, well Look at me now All the things you say, all the things you do I don't think I can forgive you But you lit me up like a cheap cheroot So credit where credit's due Now this cheroot's done started a forest fire The smoke's in the air, there's nowhere to hide I think you should know there's nowhere to go So thanks for helping awaken my raging cyclone soul Ooh, ooh Cyclone soul Ooh, ooh I'm coming at you like a cyclone soul Karma's gonna catch you eventually I don't worry 'bout it, you will see 'Cause you got no clue what I can do, my dear No, no Revenge is a drug and I'm so enticed I'll give you some time to prepare for the ride So here's to the upgraded me, now with no remorse Thanks for helping bring out my cold cyclone soul Cyclone soul I'm coming at you like a cyclone soul
4.
Daily Downfall 02:48
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Broken, beaten and lying on the ground How did I even end up feeling this down This room is a cell, my solitude's the warden waging war I think I've been hiding from the world for a week or maybe five Could this night be my daily downfall, an evening with wine? Ooh, ooh Ah, ah, ah I hate that this year's made me hate going out Sure, I love people, I just hate what comes out their mouths Unmasked grifters and the doomsday preachers hurl their venom proud Yeah Holding on to my promises: go out, stay healthy, don't frown Now that's one too many big promises for this lonely night Ooh, ooh Ah, ah, ah
5.
Gangrene 02:34
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I've been cursed to see the hurt all around me The pearls in the dirt The visions of the people around me leaving in hearses And like Pac cursed, something's will never change Everything's the same Dear god Lately I've been feeling so furious The greed of the man always leaves me so curious We're scared of a virus Ain't it a sick twist that we are the disease biting this planet's wrist Dear god, just make this madness go away I'm afraid of the next day And if the banks collapse And the society cracks And we're out on the streets with the macs like in Mad Max Don't say I didn't warn ya Ow, ow, ow, ow Gangrene We're the gangrene 2020's been ugly but it's only begun The forest fires and the floods will soon come Who'll take the blame when it affects everyone? The cure was there all along We just didn't wanna know And pardon me for being prophetic But our attempts so far have been pathetic Everyone's an armchair medic A savant without the merit Trying to keep up is a headache Tribes fight for credit And money's still the biggest epidemic Ashes to ashes to ashes Gen zero still drowning in all the shit and plastic We gotta make a change or it's gonna get drastic And I'm just a man with no answers Just questions, anger and panic Maybe I'm dramatic But what I see from the vantage point mainly looks tragic I've tried staying diplomatic But this year's radicalising my habits You ain't seen nothing yet Things will get manic Wait for the heatwave traffic We crafted this havoc Don't say I didn't warn ya
6.
Man 03:33
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Man, man, man, man Another day, another ringing alarm broken What started out as a joke is now hard to swallow without joking We could be anything we want and this is what we have chosen It feels like all hope's slowly gone and we're going down, down, down, down Man, man, man Don't you feel ashamed? Man, man, man Why let your kingdom crumble? Man, man, man Why watch your children suffer? Man, is it ever enough? Don't you forget you're just a man Youre' just a man You worked so hard to get this far, you've had so much patience But what's the worth in seeing it rust, are you just this complacent? I've never been the type to bring down a man with the motivation But your plan's not working Your house is burning You forgot you were just a man Man, man, man Don't you feel ashamed? Man, man, man Why let your kingdom crumble? Man, man, man Why watch your children suffer? Man, is it ever enough? Don't you forget you're just a.... Man, man You should feel ashamed Man, man Can't you see the damage you've done? Man, man Why watch your children suffer? Man, man Did you forget you're just a man? You're just a man
7.
Comet 03:29
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Is this what sounds like when your world starts coming down? I've felt like I've been on the verge of a mental breakdown I've been broken a thousand times but stay alive somehow Shrouded in lies of hope and change Life sure likes to play foul Total isolation This private damnation I'm running out of patience Nobody hears my lamentations, no Dance to the sound of your world coming down Dance as your madness keeps crawling through the walls, yeah Dance to your truth breaking itself apart Dance as the reality hits you hard just like Like a comet Like a comet We all have capacity for darkness And anyone who claims otherwise is a liar or a fool Day hundred-and-twenty-five Friends with a volleyball Stranded in my own thoughts Lights off, mailbox full of unread ads and coupons Thanks for a little love The walls are closing in and I'm cuffed to the bank, yeah My life's an aria without Pavarotti Used to hate my own body, now I hate everybody Feeling like a man from the moon, Cudi Looney Tunes without Bugs Bunny Swear I've tried so hard, yet still feel like I'm nothing All those lonely years full of pain This drink and these soft sins still keep me slightly sane Seven years of loneliness and pain This drink and these soft sins still keep me slightly sane
8.
My Extravagant, Atrocious Thoughts 03:25
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Is this what sounds like when your world starts coming down? I've felt like I've been on the verge of a mental breakdown I've been broken a thousand times but stay alive somehow Shrouded in lies of hope and change Life sure likes to play foul Total isolation This private damnation I'm running out of patience Nobody hears my lamentations, no Dance to the sound of your world coming down Dance as your madness keeps crawling through the walls, yeah Dance to your truth breaking itself apart Dance as the reality hits you hard just like Like a comet Like a comet We all have capacity for darkness And anyone who claims otherwise is a liar or a fool Day hundred-and-twenty-five Friends with a volleyball Stranded in my own thoughts Lights off, mailbox full of unread ads and coupons Thanks for a little love The walls are closing in and I'm cuffed to the bank, yeah My life's an aria without Pavarotti Used to hate my own body, now I hate everybody Feeling like a man from the moon, Cudi Looney Tunes without Bugs Bunny Swear I've tried so hard, yet still feel like I'm nothing All those lonely years full of pain This drink and these soft sins still keep me slightly sane Seven years of loneliness and pain This drink and these soft sins still keep me slightly sane
9.
In My Hour of Darkness 03:50
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I've given my all But feels like I've hit a wall All the gloss is gone Beneath it is a man who feels so small Take a look at me Tell me what you really see I feel defeated, I feel weak And I need you to know That here I stand A broken man With my empty hands In my hour of darkness, in my hour of need This is my last stand I've said all I can I ask for one more chance In my hour of darkness, in my hour of need In my hour of need Mmm, mmm I rarely complain I rarely show my pain But it's so hard maintaining my happy front when inside I'm decaying I never wanted you to see The uncovered side of me Promise me nobody will ever know Here I stand A broken man With my empty hands In my hour of darkness, in my hour of need This is my last stand I've done all I can I ask for one more chance In my hour of darkness, in my hour of need Will you be there for me? In my hour of need Will you be there for me?
10.
Therapy 04:31
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You've never seen me this way But I've gone through some pain I don't often show this side But I like you a lot I want to let you so close To see my raw, naked soul It just takes patience and time Please be tender and kind It's hard letting someone look so deep inside my soul but I trust you [promise me, promise me] Promise me you will be tender and kind, yeah yeah I've been hurt before But I want to untie these knots Get rid of my fears of love You have the depth that I like Tell me what you want Tell me what you like I'm afraid but I won't back down We'll make it come alive It just takes some time Be tender and kind It's hard letting someone look so deep inside my soul but I trust you [promise me, promise me] Promise me you will be tender and kind, yeah yeah Tear out the old pages and rewrite new ones It just takes patience and time
11.
Should 03:29
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I should've worked much harder I should've stayed more chill I should've phoned my friend while he was still here I should've been much kinder on myself I should've been the one to tell me "Timi, right now you're being such a dick" Should try to look better Should try not to care Should try to be more open Keep my soul stripped and bare I should act much tougher, not show my weak spots everywhere Should stop being so complex but that's just who I am Should've this, should've that, that is my worst flaw No matter what I do I can't let go Why this, why that, there's always something more I'm tired of playing perfect, it just leaves a hole I'd rather learn to let go I should've been more fearless Should've been less wild Should have been more risk-taking Should be more careful this time I should have kept my mouth shut that one time years ago And I should stop living in past Life's better when you learn to let go Should've this, should've that, that is my worst flaw No matter what I do I can't let go Why this, why that, there's always something more I'm tired of playing perfect, it just leaves a hole I'd rather learn to let go I'd rather learn to let go

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released December 14, 2020

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